Suzanne N. a woman from Reno, NV, who recently discovered she “wasn’t alone” was healed from years of depression, anxiety disorder, unexplained chronic pain and arthritis.
"People did not understand me and I could not find other people who shared my experience. I was lonely, and I was always the "outcast".
She writes: “Only 4 days ago, I read about the “challenges” [on your site]. I cried for 8 hours. And suddenly I have been free of pain for four days. I also have energy that I have not had in 25 years. I feel good and I want to go out and go for a walk, or go shopping, or maybe go to the park and paint.”
She shares her incredible success story below. I hope it inspires you.
“When I returned to the USA, I was very excited — another adventure, and I was very hurt and disappointed by my re-entry. I was unprepared, and I sort of “lost myself”. It didn’t matter where I went in the USA. From Los Angeles, to New York, to Hawaii, and to my parents home where I live now in Nevada.
People did not understand me and I could not find other people who shared my experience. I was lonely, and I was always the “outcast”.
For several years, I drifted around, trying to “connect” and when that failed, I drifted from relationship, to relationship, just trying to be connected, to a place, to a person, to a feeling. I went from problem to problem, with never any relief or solution. I was in and out of therapy with counselors, and was convinced for years that I had a personality disorder. My family could not understand what was “wrong” with me and the few friends that I had told me I just needed to pray more, to go to confession more often.
For years I have been depressed, with severe “anxiety disorder”, severe “OCD”. I had chronic, unexplained pain in my neck, shoulders, back, hands. I was “diagnosed” with arthritis in my hands.
My priest was the only person who recognized that I WASN’T a wierdo, or mentally ill. He told me I needed to find other people who had similar backgrounds to be friends with. And he was RIGHT! I just found out about TCK as a group, as an experience recently.
Only 4 days ago, I read about the “challenges”. I cried for 8 hours. And suddenly I have been free of pain for four days. I also have energy that I have not had in 25 years.
I feel good and I want to go out and go for a walk, or go shopping, or maybe go to the park and paint. (I’m an artist, but have always been in the studio —now I feel like going outside to paint)
My story: I graduated from high school early, in January of 1984 from Frankfurt American High School in Germany. I was “acting out” as a TCK even then and I wanted to run away from home. So I did. I came back to the States and stayed with my grandparents —my father was set to retire that year, but not until several months later. He and my mother decided on Reno, Nevada because for a federal retiree (he was CIA) there are no state income taxes. This decision on his part, was to impact my life in so many dysfunctional ways! (I am not blaming them , just being honest)
I came here that year, and stayed with my mother’s parents because they lived not far away, in Carson City. Immediately, I was the animal of the “pack who smelled different.” From then, my life spiraled into a world of complete dysfunction. NO one talked about TCK’s back then. And no one knew that what I was experiencing was “normal”. I was branded as a lunatic (and a liar) by my peers and as a “screw up” by my extended family. I did not even know how to apply to a college, and I was terrified of growing up. So I wandered from job to job, relationship to relationship with backward, globally ignorant, and globally blind people. This may sound harsh, but it’s the truth.
In retrospect I now see clearly how I sought relief: I “ran away” to Los Angeles, had many inappropriate relationships, and even went back to Europe for awhile.
For years, I thought I was defective as a human being. I found good friendships though, with other “immigrants.” In my city and state, this means “Mexicans”. Although I was far more educated and “cultured” than they in many cases, I found common ground and excellent friendships with them. In “white” society, I was the one who “smelled” different as in my analogy above. They immediately sensed I was not one of them and I was ostracized quite effectively by supervisors, peers and those of “equal” or “equivalent” so-called culture and education. I have found great solace and consolation in reaching our to the Hispanic community and working with gang members on “street art projects”, showing them how to use their artistic skills and abilities to leave the gangland behind as a place of “belonging”.
The desire to “belong” is more powerful than a passport, and more binding than a contract with any “devil” either perceived or “real”. We are all wounded souls and we are all searching for a place to belong. This knowledge that I am a TCK only serves to strenthen my resolve to continue to reach out, even though I may be rejected and scorned.
As for joining this community: I cannot believe the difference in how I feel. And just writing this here, for your question, makes me feel even better! Thank you! Thank you for being my “friend” even if it’s only here, online. You have made a difference in my life just because you are here, and you are willing to listen.
To all the TCK’s of every nation, every flag, every corner of the world, I want to say :
Thank you! I am honored to be your sister and I am very serious when I say: my home is always home for you. My heart is always open to you. My hands will always find a way to help you.
One Hope-One Love,
Suzanne”
Do you have any comments to share? Please leave them below.
Resources:
How to help Brice: Create a world where everyone belongs
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