Hey,
I know it’s been a while since you heard from me– I’ve been busy helping my mom fulfill her dream of becoming a bikini model. (Seriously!)

After her car accident, I promised to immortalize her personal story on video to hand it down to future generations. So .. here it is:

Watch how my brave overweight mom lost 35 pounds and became a bikini model (1:30mins)

(She does something funny at the end of the video. hehe..)

Her dream is to create a world where every woman loves their body. If she can do it, you can too!

Her next challenge: She’s training for a charity run in England for 6 months.

I hope she inspires you to pursue your dreams!
Brice

P.S: Want to leave my mom a comment? You can leave her a comment below on the blog or on the video.

What’s your dream? Let me know! I can help you bring your story alive and sharing it with the world… or at least to my cat.

Did you say “I love you” to your family and friends recently?

My mom got hit by a car the other day. The driver hit
her knee and she fell down in the street in shock.

I made a video update here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YwkUAc8ePA

Sleepy Brice and Aziza, the hyper energetic mom

I was really shocked.. But the good news is she’s still alive!

She’s a bit paranoid of crossing the street now… so I’m keeping an eye on her to see if there’s any psychological issues I need to report from this accident today.

We have already forgiven the driver. It could’ve happened to anyone really..

I hope your family and loved ones are doing well?

Life is extremely short. I wanted to write this to remind you
to tell the people in your life how important they are
and how much you love them!

Don’t wait too long. I hope you’ll put the past behind you.

Sometimes just saying “I forgive you” or “I love you” will make
a big difference in your life.

A bientot,

Brice

P.S: Leave me a comment below on the blog and I’ll respond to you.

A TCK just emailed me and said someone in her family got his first and only “I love you” from his dad on his death bed. Now he tells everyone how much he loves them.

You may find this post interesting on grief: Grief expert: “My life is good, but why don’t I feel that way?”

Tom is an experienced counselor who has helped over 1000 victims in 9/11 in NYC recover from grief and trauma. He shares his wisdom with TCKs at TCK Academy. I hope that helps you or someone you know.

It’s true. I am a failure and I’m not afraid to admit it, because it’s the truth. I may be a failure, but failure is the best thing that ever happened to me. My failures are my most valuable assets.

Why? Because I found my purpose through failures. I also found humility and realized I’m not better than anyone else.

What does failure mean to you? What are some of your failures? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts. I’d love to hear from you.

I failed a lot in life, at school, business, career, relationships… and the list goes on.

Let’s look at some of my failures, imperfections, and challenges:

But my biggest failure in life was to focus on my biggest failures. Big mistake. Everyone does fail at something. Let’s forgive ourselves and move on.

Today I’m still alive and those doctors and teachers were wrong.

I cured myself of years of disability in 1 hour. Sounds crazy but it’s true.
6 months later, my business eventually became successful enough to support myself and my mom so she could quit her job.
I quit my job and saved all my money to move to a new city and take 1 year off work to fulfill my dream and contribute.
I have amazing, compassionate, loving, purpose driven friends from all over the world
I’ve had mind blowing dating and relationship experiences.
I’ve experienced an incredibly fulfilling life and I’m grateful for every moment ….

Basically, I turned those challenges into strengths and opportunities. It was scary, but really worth it. I still make a lot of mistakes and fall down a lot, though.

Have you failed a lot too? If you are, then you and I are in good company.

Who else failed? Here’s a list of top 10 biggest failures:

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed…. I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying. “

- Michael Jordan

“Would you like me to give you a formula for… success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure.”

-Thomas J. Watson, Founder of IBM.

“Success is 99% failure”

- Honda

* Albert Einstein (age 10) “You will never amount to much,” schoolmaster.
* Ludwig van Beethoven. No talent for music … “as a composer he is hopeless,” music teacher.
* Thomas Edison. too stupid to learn anything, teacher.
* The Coca Cola Company. Sold only 400 bottles its first year in business.
* The Beatles (1962). “We don’t like their sound … guitar music is on the way out,”Meca Records.
* Jack Canfield and Mark Hanson. “Nobody wants to read a book of short little stories,” one of the 144 publishers that rejected the book proposal for “Chicken Soup for the Soul.”

Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by which it is achieved.

—Lao Tzu

“Failure is not giving things a go in the first place. People who fail are those who don’t have a go and don’t make an effort. Failures can’t be bothered. There are few people who’ve tried something and fallen who didn’t get enormous satisfaction from trying, and I’ve learned more from people who have tried and faltered than from the few charmed people for whom success came easy.

- Richard Branson

What should we do when we fail?

The word “Failure” needs to be redefined.

FAILURE
Old Definition:
A negative, fatal, and final result indicating:
* An inability to perform and a lack of success.
* A falling short because of ineptness, deficiency, or negligence.
* A bad, bad thing that should be avoided, mourned, and punished.

New Definition of Failure

A short-term unexpected result that reflects a challenge in progress and that provides:

* A stepping stone to success.
* An opportunity for learning and development.
* An opportunity for creative change and innovation.

Learn From Failure!

“ Once you embrace unpleasant news not as negative but as evidence of a need for change, you aren’t defeated by it. You’re learning from it.”

—Bill Gates

What about you? What are your thoughts on failure? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you.

If any of my blog posts, services, tweets, coaching or conversations has helped you, made you smile, or made your life better in any way, would you share your experience? My personal goal is to improve the life of least 100,000 people. If that inspires you, please do the same and help 1 person today! Together we can all make a difference.

You can send me feedback on:

* How have I helped you?
* What results you’ve achieved from this help?
* All of the above if any?

Please send in your feedback using the form below. Don’t forget to include your site URL and picture.

Thank you so much for taking the time.

I’m a prejudiced guy, but I do love some people.

Watch this 40-seconds short video about loving and respecting people who are completely different than you. There’s a surprise at the end of the video.

I give you permission to send this video to your friends and family.

Leave a quick comment if you watched it & support this message!

Are you interested in a documentary on Third Culture Kids that will inspire and educate people? If you are, then please tell all your friends about it. I give you permission to share this post to everyone you know.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

I’ve been asked to be on a documentary and tell our story. The filmmaker and her crew came to my house, interviewed me, and followed me around Vancouver with their cameras almost all day.

I was a bit nervous because it’s my first documentary… but I’m glad I got out of my comfort zone and shared some rather interesting, but also embarrassing stories.

They were very professional and did an awesome job.

Meeting Aga, the incredibly talented director/filmmaker

Saying goodbye to limitations, frustration & excuses

My favorite spot, the world famous LOVE sculpture by Robert Indiana

The story is about Love and turning your Challenges into Strengths.

“Where are you from?”

When people ask me that question, I just joke around and say: “My mom says I’m from heaven.”

For centuries, this small-talk question has been acceptable and a standard way to connect with a stranger. According to a recent research, there’s a 30% increase of long-distance marriages between 2000-2005 and more children and adults are traveling for work and growing up in different cultures.

For many of us Third Culture Kids, where we’re going is more important than where we’re from.

Does it really matter where I’m from?

“Asking a cross cultural child “Where is your home?” or “Where are you from?” is like asking: “Who do you love most? Your parents or your friends?” Let’s stop confusing cross cultural children with that outdated question and put it in the grave where it belongs.” – Brice Royer

“Where are you from” is like asking me: “What color is your hair?”

Let’s face it, it’s no longer the best question to form a connection with someone. For instance, I could give you some interesting facts about my life. My dad is half French and Vietnamese. My mom is Ethiopian, but she speaks several languages and grew up most of her life abroad. I grew up in 7 countries before the age of 18.

After hearing those basic facts, most people would be completely disconnected.

The fuel of connection isn’t facts, it’s Emotions

Globalization has made the question “Where are you from?” irrelevant and outdated. It’s like asking “What color is your skin and hair?” It will take you years to form a deep connection with me with that question. A better question would be: “Where did you live and grow up?” or “What do you enjoy doing?” Connect with me on my passion and values and we will have instant chemistry.

Small commonalities are important but they rarely make a lasting impression and build a deep emotional connection with people. A better way to deeply connect with me would be on my values: “Are you open-minded? Do you love diversity? Do you love helping people? ” If we share similar passions then we’ll have an instant connection.

“What is a sense of belonging? Who am I?”

I once asked a 13-year-old, Emily “What is a sense of belonging?” and she responded, “To me a sense of belonging is if I’d jump off a cliff and a friend would catch my hand and save me.”

Belonging is a perception of safety. We want to feel safe, comforted and connected.

“Where am I from?” and “Where is my home?” are outdated questions that has confused people about their identity for too long. Let’s stop confusing children with these questions and remind ourselves and the world this simple truth: Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling of comfort and security.” – Brice Royer

Why is it important to have a sense of belonging?

A 10-year study found that people with more friends were 22% less likely to die. In many studies, friendship has an even greater effect on health than a spouse or family member.

After years of talking to Third Culture Kids and adults, and studying the research, I finally realized that many TCKs don’t actually want to belong.

“Why people don’t want to belong?”

It can be scary to belong, especially if you seek freedom and novelty. To know someone is to lose yourself and freedom, because you need to be vulnerable and open up. That can be scary for some people.

Too much belonging can stiffen your individuality, not enough of it can make you ill and isolated.

“I don’t belong to any countries. I belong with people who share my values. They can live anywhere.” – Brice Royer

Why are people restless?

If you’re restless in relationships or traveling, it’s often because you value variety, novelty and diversity more than comfort and security.

Familiarity is the illusion of safety. It’s the reason why people stay in abusive relationships, continue to be restless, or never open up. Don’t be afraid of healthy change.

My Magic Formula: How to have a Sense of Belonging in 3 steps

First, you need to ask yourself “what is a sense of belonging?” and “why do I want to belong?” Once you understand that it’s a perception of comfort and safety, and why being understood and connected is important, you’ll want to follow these steps.

1. Find out who you are.
2. Find others like you.
3. Build quality relationships with them.

I’m not kidding you, that’s really all there is to it. If it’s so simple, then why do we get stuck?

Most people think they get stuck at #2. “I can’t find people like myself, it’s very difficult. I live in a small town and there’s no diversity. I don’t feel understood. ” That’s the biggest challenge for many TCKs.

But in many occasions, it’s because they haven’t completed step #1. Find out who you are.

“TCK” is not an identity, it’s an experience.

Once you understand your values, which is what’s more important to you in life, you’ll have to ask yourself some very tough questions: “What’s more important to me in my relationships? In my career? In my family?”

Make a list of all your values. You’ll begin to see a pattern, and you’ll be surprised and have very interesting insights about your behavior and decisions.

After you understand your values, you’ll naturally attract people who share them, and join events where you’re most likely meet people who value similar things — whether you value your religion, lifestyle, hobbies, or beliefs.

An important warning on discovering your values: You may discover you won’t necessarily belong with other TCKs, even if you are one yourself. In fact, you may even feel completely disconnected and different than TCKs.

I talk to a few TCKs who often say: “I don’t belong with TCKs. Yes, we value diversity, but I value my religion more than my cross cultural values and mobility experience…”

Or you’ll hear: “I don’t want to travel anymore, I want to settle and start a family.” and other TCKs may say: “I can’t live without traveling! It’s not going to work out between us..”

That’s why it’s important to discover your values.

Remember: Not all TCKs share your values.

Being alone can be a problem. Being in a relationship can be a problem too.

Years ago, I really hated being alone and misunderstood. But I realized that when you’re alone, you can have problems. When you’re in a relationship, you can have problems too. Problems never go away. We just get better quality problems.

“I don’t want problems.” you might think. Not having problems causes stagnation, and you eventually stop growing… that’s an even bigger problem.

I was a complete failure

When I was young, my teacher said I wouldn’t accomplish anything in life. Kids made fun of me because I didn’t speak English, and called me fat, ugly and stupid.

At age 19, the doctor told me I would die.

For several lonely years, I couldn’t use my hands without pain for several years. I tried everything to get better but nothing worked and I felt completely hopeless.

If you’ve ever felt like a failure, you’re not alone. I felt like a complete failure for years, and I was so confused and scared about my future.

Age 19, Brice wearing hand splints: According to research, emotions hurts more than physical pain. A lack of belonging and emotional stress of grief caused years of disability.

..but I’m still alive today and I proved everyone wrong!

I was cured of years of pain, frustration and disability after I discovered that emotions causes physical pain.

Emotions can cause or aggravate physical pain.

To be honest, I don’t know when I will die but I’m glad I’m still alive.

I eventually forgave those people who hurt me because I realized the reason why people hurt others is because they probably have been hurt too.

After I was healed, I had some doubts.

“What if the pain comes back?”

I sat down on the couch, closed my eyes, and made a promise to myself and to my source: “God, if this healing is real, then I promise I’ll devote my life to help people.”

A year later, the healing was real and permanent, and the pain never came back.

I kept my promise, quit my job to devote my life to help people who suffer from emotional pain.

But my story is only part of a larger story of other TCKs who used their challenges to help others.

Singapore TCK group

We’re all part of something bigger than ourselves. People like Claire, a community leader who recently hosted her first TCK meetup in Singapore.

Daniela Tudor, our global community leader, who flew all the way to Vancouver from Seattle to help us with the documentary.

All of us our connected by our passion to create a safe and open environment for everyone to belong, no matter where they are from.

Daniela Tudor, Global Community Organizer

Third Culture Kids want to make a difference. According to some surveys, over 75% of TCKs actively participate in their local community or in a broader network. About 47 percent of those who report volunteer activities include an international dimension, such as: participating in organizations such as United Nations Association; hosting exchange students; or translating in courts, schools, or hospitals.

We do have some urgent challenges. According to some surveys, over 26% TCKs are “not satisfied at all” with their sense of belonging. Research have shown that a lack of belonging is a key factor in depression, more so than spousal and social support.

Most TCKs are very independent, self-reliant, feel restless, and like to work alone, which makes it even more difficult to be united on a shared purpose, and the need to be work together has never been so important.

“Third Culture Kids role is to help the world transcend culture. ” – Brice Royer

I’m not saying we should all blend and become the same, because diversity of thought is incredibly important. But we also need to remember that we all have more in common than we think.

That’s what gives me hope.

I believe we will continue to be united and help more people.

Giving a sense of belonging to others changed my life, I hope it changes yours too.

Brice Royer

P.S: I have a few questions while you’re here…

• Do you support this film? If you do, then just leave a quick comment!
• Are you a musician, artist, writer, or a member and would like to get involved?
• Have you ever helped out with TCKID and want your name in the credits?
• Not an artist or writer? That’s OK! You can still help us spread the word. Leave a comment to support the film!

Leave me a comment on the blog and let me know if you support this film!

I give you permission to share this post to your friends on your Facebook & Blog.

Get an Email Update for the TCK Film!

Watch this video:

Hey,

I have an inspiring video for you! This cute & brave girl surprised me with a “Thank you video” for you and all TCKs.

My friends loved it so I posted the video on my blog for you.

In this 2-min video you’ll see how a brave “Overweight” Asian TCK comes out of her comfort zone and shares her heart to you.

It’s really touching…my friends said we should share it to everyone.

She’s really cute too.

Enjoy!

Brice

PS: After you watch the video, please leave her a comment below to show her that you appreciate
it because she would love to hear from you.

I give you permission to share this inspiring video to anyone.

Please share this link on your Facebook and to everyone you know.

I went to my library and accidentally stumbled on a book with a catchy title.

The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die

Ooh… I love secrets. It caught my attention.

Why am I so interested?
It’s not just because I love secrets. The reason why I was interested is because it reminded me of my own experience with death. At age 19, my doctor once misdiagnosed me and told me I was going to die.

I didn’t want to die.

Facing my own mortality really scared me and I felt very anxious about everything. A 14-year old once clearly explained this to me: “Dying sucks.” I think she’s probably right.

Have you ever been faced with death? Maybe you have. But even if you never experienced that, you don’t have to go through a similar experience to relate.

Anyway, I picked it up and it’s about a consultant who interviewed more than 200 people from ages 60 to 106 about their secrets to happiness.

Sounds familiar… did I read this book before?

I opened the book and the table of contents and the 2nd and 3rd secret got me hooked.

The second secret: leave no regrets
The third secret: become love

Let’s read “leave no regrets” first.

On page 56, it stated:

“Over the years, I have led many personal and leadership development retreats with my dead friend Dr. David Kuhl, a gifted physician and author. During workshops, we conduct an exercise whereby we ask people to imagine that they have only six months to live. We tell them that they cannot be certain whether these will be healthy or difficult months. We then give them a specific date precisely six months from the day of the workshop.”

“Pretend that on that day six months from now, you will die. What are the five things you must do before that time?” A tense stillness comes over the room, often covered up with awkward humor. As people begin to write down what they must do in those six months, they most commonly write about relationships that must be healed. Sometimes there is a dream long deferred.”

Bob, the 59 year old biologist talked about being estranged from his parents because they didn’t approve his marriage.

Lucy, in her 70s, had been estranged from her mom and hardly talked for 20 years. “I wish I would have reached out to her sooner and tried to show her how to love. I would say anyone who will listen, if there’s something you have to say, say it sooner, even if you don’t feel ready.”

One woman, Betty, didn’t talk to her son for 20 years. A small hurt had turned from years of neglect, into a large wound. She called him and told him how she felt. “I can hardly even remember now what happened between us,.. I am sorry for my part in it, but 20 years is too long for people who once held each other in their arms. ” Her son reached back to her with his voice, and years of hurt were set aside.

Of course, there is no perfection in this life, and there will be some regrets no matter how carefully we live our lives. But still, these people showed us how to deal with regret.

Here are some notes and reviews. You can read more about it on Amazon.

In the second secret (leave no regrets) Izzo states that in “his experience from the last 30 years, validated in these interviews, death is not what we fear the most. When we have lived life fully and done what we hoped to do, we can accept death with grace. What we fear most is not having lived to the fullest extent possible, to come to the end of our life with our final words being `I wish I had.’…to leave no regrets we must live with courage, moving toward what we want rather than away from what we fear.”

The following is a brief synopsis of each secret:

1. Be True to Yourself. You must follow your heart and your dreams, not the dreams someone else has for you. This may mean making a radical change in your life, or simply making small adjustments. The key to continually examine your life is to make sure you are following your own true path.

Questions to ask yourself: Did this week or day feel like my kind or week/day? What would make tomorrow or next week feel more true to myself?

2. Leave No Regrets. Although all of the people whom Izzo interviewed had some regrets, people who had the fewest were the happiest. A common theme, he discovered, is that people don’t regret risks that failed; instead they regretted not having risked more.

Questions to ask yourself: Did I act on my convictions this week? How am I responding to the setbacks in my life right now? Am I stepping forward or retreating?

3. Become Love. The more you focus on acting with love, the more you will find happiness, says Izzo. This begins with choosing to love yourself and breaking away from thoughts that are self-defeating and self-critical. You must make loving relationships a priority in your life.

Questions to ask yourself: Did I make room for friends, family and relationships today or this week? Did I spread love and kindness in the world at each interaction?

4. Live the Moment. Living the moment means living your life now rather than simply planning it. “We must always live in the present moment, the only moment in which we have any power,” writes Izzo.

Questions to ask yourself: Did I fully enjoy whatever I was doing this day/week? What am I grateful for right now?
5. Give More Than You Take. Each day you have the power to give without limit. Izzo’s interviews reveal that people long to make a contribution. Giving connects people to something larger than themselves – whether it’s a supreme being of the entire human experience and journey.

Questions to ask yourself: Did I make the world a better place this week in a small? Was I kind, generous, giving this week? How can I be more that way tomorrow?

Perhaps the most important message to take away from The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die is that it’s never too late to start leading a meaningful life. Age doesn’t matter. All you need is the knowledge and the will to change.

Read the book on Amazon here.

I’m watching the Fireworks in Vancouver. The video is from HSBC Celebration of light 2006 China. View from English Bay beach near my place.